Since the first day of class this semester, I started with a very blunt and open relationship with my professor. It started off with me not knowing what to expect from Professor Messore, except hearsay from friends and other professors. I chose to make my American Government class an Honors option in which I would read additional material outside of the classroom of my choosing and write papers explaining my thoughts and views on the literature. This has proved slightly less substantial than I was hoping - I haven't necessarily gained anything from it besides being able to openly discuss anarchist and radical politics with someone who has a wealth of social and political knowledge not involved in those ideas. However, I have never received praise one on one by Angelo - it all comes to me by other people we mutually know. He has said that I'm his favorite student in class, he's happy to see me engaged, and that he enjoys talking to me outside of class.
Today, I found out that he had made additional comments to Ashley about me, saying that I am far too intelligent to be aiming for the schools I am. I'm aiming too low and should be aiming much higher with my intellectual ability and skills that I have enhanced this past year. UC Santa Cruz isn't good enough, according to Angelo. And he's afraid I would pick a school simply because it's radical, not that the student body is engaged and focused on learning for learning's sake which has some truth behind it. However, to hear that this man whom hasn't shared any sentiments about me as a person to think so highly of me to point this out to more than a few people is truly humbling and a really great feeling. He now plans to only attend 2020 meetings if Ashley and I talk since we are all he's interested in hearing, not the faculty or administrators anymore.
At the last core meeting for 2020, we broke into smaller groups such as the usual. I was in a group of administrators, deans, adjuncts, admissions office members, and professors. I spoke very candidly again about the apathy students have on campus, the hierarchical values that are present not only in our meetings but the classroom, and further pressed the idea of critical pedagogy. I was able to meet yet more faculty members who are welcoming this idea, that a paradigm shift needs to take place on our campus and this will begin to mirror itself outwards to all campuses to begin even having this dialog. I can sense some people "getting it" - understanding that education isn't at all what it should be, and the classrooms don't represent education in the holistic sense. I specifically talked openly with an English professor in the group about titles and the sense of authority by professors and students not being prepared for class. This man spends his life on campus and focused around education - he often refers to his home as nothing more than a "hotel where there's a bed to rest." Today, for the first time, he spent five minutes in class and dismissed the entire class since none of the students had done their readings. This is a true epidemic, spreading across campuses all over the country. We are getting reports from all over of students not being prepared and not engaging themselves. This is troubling, and heartbreaking.
Regardless, that professor spoke with Ken afterwards and said "you know, Chris is fantastic. We need more students like him on our campus. We need him to talk to faculty and staff more often, he is so articulate with his beliefs and is able to make them palatable for everyone." He usually never says these things about any students. I felt really uncomfortable talking to him at the break out group because he wanted to be referred to by "Doctor ______" no matter what, nothing less. And he often teaches with values from Catholicism which troubles me. But, apparently he had nothing but extremely nice things to say about me.
I have never felt more humbled than I have this past year with the work I'm putting forth (though I could be so much more diligent and doing better) and the recognition I have been receiving by friends, campus members, and professors. I feel like I'm finally doing something right, and I'm doing it well. Fighting for a few extra points to get an 95 in a class is something foreign to me- I'm used to battling for those few extra points to pass the class. I like this aspect of my life right now.
4/22/08
4/14/08
While talking in my American Government class about Free Trade, the conversation quickly turned sour when students began questioning the idea of capitalistic free trade. Instead of asking, "Hey, why are we trading useless material bullshit for actual goods from other countries who are poorer than us?", and demanding an answer on how to more ethically create a free trade society - the majority of students began saying, "Hey, that isn't fair that we are giving them big things and we get pretty much nothing in return." This is the place we live - a wasteland where people cherish themselves over anyone else and disconnect themselves from the disparity and plight of other people.
I had a 20/20 meeting today on campus. Usually, at the core meetings with faculty, students, adjuncts, and professors under one roof, I just get increasingly more frustrated and annoyed. This afternoon was no exception. The meeting began with many "leaders" of the business/accounting departments begging to know why their curriculum or values weren't mentioned in the learning goals put forward by the rest of the committee. One of the business department heads said, "Unless you want to be a poet, you need to know how the world works" in relation to business and capitalism. This very same teacher does not recognize any other form of economic means within her classroom and defines economics as "paid labor".
Another one of the technology/engineering department heads ignorantly made the blanket statement that all students care about is learning what they need to, getting their degree, and getting a job. Unfortunately, how true this is - but, the entire meaning behind the transformation begun by 20/20 is alleviating college campuses of that awful old rhetoric that education at any level, especially college level, is to prepare you for a workforce or prepare you to be a subservient worker. Regardless of how many times I tried to reason that the there is no need to teach a class based on those principles, he refused to listen. Many of the other business/accounting faculty argued that in order to pass most students and get the course out of the way, they need to rush 15 weeks of information. That is also a problem that has been addressed and is in the midst of being extinguished from our college campus's curriculum.
However, after being in large circle - we all split up into smaller groups in order to specifically address learning goals and values according to a reading we all did. In this small group, I was paired up with three other faculty members whom I had never had the chance to converse with before. Now, at this point, it became clear that it was more possible to talk calmly and explicitly with the faculty in order to get my points that I had previously addressed through more clearly. We began talking about how impossible it is to progress through substantial change on campus, often times dealing with the hierarchy of the system and the supposed established authority within that hierarchy whether it's the administrators or the dean or the state legislature. I was able to convey the idea that these false assumptions of authority and titles need to be crushed and thoroughly questioned before falling into a complacent, terrified fetal position. Surprisingly enough, the other three members of my circle agreed.
We then began speaking of how many, if not all, of our readings mirror themselves as problems not only apparent on the college campus but also in our society - the vast Mother Earth. This seems like such an obvious statement - but sometimes, the most obvious of statements need to be addressed. We began to agree that there is a great social problem of injustice, oppression, and assimilation. However, it is absolutely apparent that the change must begin now, a very specific change must be made beginning with new generations and this takes place on the college campus. The smashing of hierarchical authority is key along with questioning supposed authority and working within departments together on taking away the stress of being departmentalized constantly. The idea of only working on the problems in the English department and never helping the History or Humanities departments is unquestioned - that changed this afternoon, as well. Surprisingly, again, my group was in agreement that in order for widespread change to occur, there must be a common solidarity amongst each other. This doesn't require any unions, bureaucratic bullshit, or some authoritative figure telling you when meetings are going to be. It's important to organize yourselves and make it work without any master or manager or boss telling you 'when' and 'now'.
It's imperative to break down all these institutional barriers. Nothing in this world can be solved or figured out by punching numbers in a calculator, sitting behind a keyboard, writing letters to your liberal congressman or woman, and using engineering class rules on how to build a bridge. We live in such a chaotic and confusing landscape that is full of deception and deceit, so buried beneath the surface that the only way to uncover it is by deschooling yourself and looking beyond every single facet of the modern Western world.
It's increasingly impossible to deny that our numbers are growing. The amount of people who are overcoming their fear of speaking dissent against our current way of life is dwindling - those who are unable to look past the despair and violent repressive actions committed in our name for the sake of freedoms and justice are opening their eyes and becoming awakened. Anarchist factions and collectives are growing, and this can hopefully only lead to further and increased solidarity while realizing that we have no obliged contract with Marxists, communists, socialists, progressives, or liberals. We refuse to accept that this is "just the way it is" and that we must sell ourselves for profit, for perfection, for freedom. This is unacceptable and the numbers of people who are realizing these ideas are growing - the legions of citizens who are realizing that the government and the affluent class are capitalizing off of their despair is overflowing.
We will never break the chains of social conformity if we don't ever remove every single institution of hierarchical power -the police force, the army, government, bosses, mangers, and someone who we answer to every day. There is no way we will ever live in a free society unless this happens first. There is something to be said, though, of the public school system and education on such high levels of attendance and desperate need - college is the same. The questions (not so) simply becomes just how do you structure that learning in order to facilitate towards such a large number of people. Is it possible to cut spending on certain sections of the school (technology, cafe, extra buildings) and allocating more of the resources towards promoting and assuring smaller classes? More resources towards the hiring process of truly qualified professors and facilitators who understand what learning is, how learning is achieved, etc?
I had a 20/20 meeting today on campus. Usually, at the core meetings with faculty, students, adjuncts, and professors under one roof, I just get increasingly more frustrated and annoyed. This afternoon was no exception. The meeting began with many "leaders" of the business/accounting departments begging to know why their curriculum or values weren't mentioned in the learning goals put forward by the rest of the committee. One of the business department heads said, "Unless you want to be a poet, you need to know how the world works" in relation to business and capitalism. This very same teacher does not recognize any other form of economic means within her classroom and defines economics as "paid labor".
Another one of the technology/engineering department heads ignorantly made the blanket statement that all students care about is learning what they need to, getting their degree, and getting a job. Unfortunately, how true this is - but, the entire meaning behind the transformation begun by 20/20 is alleviating college campuses of that awful old rhetoric that education at any level, especially college level, is to prepare you for a workforce or prepare you to be a subservient worker. Regardless of how many times I tried to reason that the there is no need to teach a class based on those principles, he refused to listen. Many of the other business/accounting faculty argued that in order to pass most students and get the course out of the way, they need to rush 15 weeks of information. That is also a problem that has been addressed and is in the midst of being extinguished from our college campus's curriculum.
However, after being in large circle - we all split up into smaller groups in order to specifically address learning goals and values according to a reading we all did. In this small group, I was paired up with three other faculty members whom I had never had the chance to converse with before. Now, at this point, it became clear that it was more possible to talk calmly and explicitly with the faculty in order to get my points that I had previously addressed through more clearly. We began talking about how impossible it is to progress through substantial change on campus, often times dealing with the hierarchy of the system and the supposed established authority within that hierarchy whether it's the administrators or the dean or the state legislature. I was able to convey the idea that these false assumptions of authority and titles need to be crushed and thoroughly questioned before falling into a complacent, terrified fetal position. Surprisingly enough, the other three members of my circle agreed.
We then began speaking of how many, if not all, of our readings mirror themselves as problems not only apparent on the college campus but also in our society - the vast Mother Earth. This seems like such an obvious statement - but sometimes, the most obvious of statements need to be addressed. We began to agree that there is a great social problem of injustice, oppression, and assimilation. However, it is absolutely apparent that the change must begin now, a very specific change must be made beginning with new generations and this takes place on the college campus. The smashing of hierarchical authority is key along with questioning supposed authority and working within departments together on taking away the stress of being departmentalized constantly. The idea of only working on the problems in the English department and never helping the History or Humanities departments is unquestioned - that changed this afternoon, as well. Surprisingly, again, my group was in agreement that in order for widespread change to occur, there must be a common solidarity amongst each other. This doesn't require any unions, bureaucratic bullshit, or some authoritative figure telling you when meetings are going to be. It's important to organize yourselves and make it work without any master or manager or boss telling you 'when' and 'now'.
It's imperative to break down all these institutional barriers. Nothing in this world can be solved or figured out by punching numbers in a calculator, sitting behind a keyboard, writing letters to your liberal congressman or woman, and using engineering class rules on how to build a bridge. We live in such a chaotic and confusing landscape that is full of deception and deceit, so buried beneath the surface that the only way to uncover it is by deschooling yourself and looking beyond every single facet of the modern Western world.
It's increasingly impossible to deny that our numbers are growing. The amount of people who are overcoming their fear of speaking dissent against our current way of life is dwindling - those who are unable to look past the despair and violent repressive actions committed in our name for the sake of freedoms and justice are opening their eyes and becoming awakened. Anarchist factions and collectives are growing, and this can hopefully only lead to further and increased solidarity while realizing that we have no obliged contract with Marxists, communists, socialists, progressives, or liberals. We refuse to accept that this is "just the way it is" and that we must sell ourselves for profit, for perfection, for freedom. This is unacceptable and the numbers of people who are realizing these ideas are growing - the legions of citizens who are realizing that the government and the affluent class are capitalizing off of their despair is overflowing.
We will never break the chains of social conformity if we don't ever remove every single institution of hierarchical power -the police force, the army, government, bosses, mangers, and someone who we answer to every day. There is no way we will ever live in a free society unless this happens first. There is something to be said, though, of the public school system and education on such high levels of attendance and desperate need - college is the same. The questions (not so) simply becomes just how do you structure that learning in order to facilitate towards such a large number of people. Is it possible to cut spending on certain sections of the school (technology, cafe, extra buildings) and allocating more of the resources towards promoting and assuring smaller classes? More resources towards the hiring process of truly qualified professors and facilitators who understand what learning is, how learning is achieved, etc?
4/5/08
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