How much can you allow blind faith rule your life? And really - arguably, all faith is blind. At what point do we determine that our life is ours to live and not let faith or fate steer the direction in which we sail our ship? When do we become conscious decision makers for ourselves, and not leave this up to fate or faith?

When do we disobey this idea of being a vessel at the mercy of intangible ideas? At the end of the day, when you are laying in bed by yourself, how much faith can you really put into faith? Does faith and the idea of fate, working out in your favor, just become a matter of comfort for yourself, so your reality is slightly skewed? At what point does this continue no longer, and your decisions become a balance between instinct and pure fact? When does an overwhelming feeling of intuition not preside over this delicate balance?

These are all very important questions and I would like to know their answers. I would like to know the reason behind my blind faith in blind fate. Or is it possible that faith and fate aren't blind, they are just uncomfortable for the mere fact they are intangible? Is it possible that an uneasiness can be assumed to be because we are not able to physically hold on to these ideas? And because we cannot, should we discount the worth of these two ideas? I would argue yes.

Really, at what point do you just say enough is enough and decide to walk away from these two things? Really, how much longer can you decide to keep a comfortable distance from your reality, or what you assume to be your reality? Is it also possible, then, that your assumed reality is merely skewed and is just as intangible as fate and faith?

Or is it possible that even beyond all this, we are not even conscious decision makers? Do we ever know the outcome of our decisions? I would indefinitely argue no. Are the decision we make only made with the best judgment we have? Is it ever possible to make a decision and be positive you have made the right one? Could a life be fulfilling by rebelling against this idea of conscious decision making, and let things literally play themselves out? Is it humanly possible to just become complacent enough to let the act, act themselves? Instead of just taking a back seat, is it possible, in this sector of your life, to allow whatever blind faith or fate there is to overrun your conscious? Is there any other way, really? What other choices do we have?

It's getting to that point - of being complacent enough. Complacency has the most negative connotation. But is it really that bad, in this certain situation involving decision making? Or really, instead of indefinitely even using the term "decision making", can we abandon that and just say "making the most educated guess" instead?

How willing are you to play a minor role in the outcome of your life, and allow the majority of your decisions be made up by an unconscious, intangible set of pathology and mental capacities? Or is there any other way? Is it possible that this is just far too complex, and rather simply, "what will be will be" and there is no actual decision making? If this is true, then, what merit would there be in conscious thought and conscious ideas?

Honestly, how much longer can I bare to stretch and bend and twist and wait, to feel at the end the day as if I had been stretched too far and have bent too many ways and twisted at too many angles, and have been left utterly fragmented?

[Note: This is what happens when you have an over-active mind, are thinking about Oedipus The King and his family, and you can't sleep. You end up just dusting off dusty corners in your mind and regretfully do so.]