2007 was truly a roller coaster of a year. Things were constantly on a revolving basis of being really good, really bad, semi-good, or just okay. The beginning of the year began extremely rocky and after all the falls and dips, the end of the year is ending much more smoothly than it began which I think is a good thing. I made a lot of new friends this year, got a few new awesome tattoos, and obviously continued constantly learning and personal growth. I made some of the best memories this year with all my friends, especially Dan, and made it through some of the worst nights. There were so many truly priceless nights spent doing everything and nothing, and so many good memories of nights that I can never forget. I got my heart broken, I made a lot of bad decisions and a lot of mistakes that I have grown to forget and forgive myself for, I moved out of my parent's house, I saw a ton of good shows, and had some of the best nights of my life this year.
I'm anticipating 2008 and I'm curious to see what will come. My parents bought me a plane ticket to Santa Barbara for Spring Break in March, and that's all I'm looking forward to right now. I was able to land a job that I am extremely happy with and love doing almost every single day; I have never once worked with a company like L.L Bean or in a store environment like this one with an amazing management team and great coworkers for the most part. Next September starts a new school year, or a new traveling year. Everything is still unwritten, and I'm willing to wait it all out and see what happens. I am going to try to go into 2008 with no intentions, no expectations, and no hopes.
I have more to say about 2007, but I've learned that sometimes keeping memories to yourself is the best way to preserve how great they were. Once you share them, they lose their value and often times, the people involved in that memory are not the same they once were. I wish more than anything that the one person who played the second biggest role in my life this past year was still the same person she once was and wasn't at all how she is now. But that's what happens and time changes things sometimes.
Most Memorable Moments of 2007: Verse/Sinking Ships/Ceremony in Providence, Counting Crows/Live in Connecticut, Set Your Goals in Branford, and Municipal Waste in Branford. Seeing Modern Life is War and Verse almost every single show in the Northeast. The night of all dives with Dan at the Set Your Goals show while we both just kept pointing at each other. All of my trips with him to Boston, Wrentham, Providence, New Haven, and just hanging out at my parent's house. Summer drives and talks with Luc and Kate. Luc showing me Wii, growing closer to him and finding true friendship. Anastasia, and everything that will always be associated with that name - countless things. Ringing in 2007 with Mentos and Diet Coke. Going back to being vegan 100% and really enjoying it this time. Will Toftness and that dude becoming one of my closest friends, regardless of him rupturing my spleen in 2006. Moving into 15 Foster St. with Paul and Tim, and all of the insane nights that occurred since August involving sweet dives off the banister, house shows, breaking tables over my back, snowboarding on a table top down the roof, and the drunken escapades. Still being straightedge, still never giving in. Finding pieces of myself while taking the Intro to Literature class with Professor K and being able to grow immensely in one semester back at school for the first time in a year. Most of all, watching my older brother consistently struggle, however faint at times, to find himself and find eternal happiness.
There is far too much to say. 2007 will go down as being an extremely up and down year that ended more up than down. I'm still trying, still searching, still trying to piece everything together. This is continuous and 2008 will prove to bring it all further in focus. Thank you for being a part of my year. Stick around, and we'll see what happens next.
12/24/07
"All roads that head towards adventure always lead west.."
I don't know, sometimes I swear I could never leave New England. I was driving home tonight and all of the typical northern New England houses painted every hillside with their lights, the moon was the biggest I have ever seen it, and everything just had that really good winter/Christmas feel to it that I miss so much from when I was little.
But I know I have to. It's just something that comes next, and the more I don't pursue actually going to school in California, the more it eats away at my insides. I don't even know whether it's going to work out or not, but I'm not willing to put any worth into fate (just as I'm not in any other situation) - I would rather just find out for myself or I definitely will constantly regret it.
But I know I have to. It's just something that comes next, and the more I don't pursue actually going to school in California, the more it eats away at my insides. I don't even know whether it's going to work out or not, but I'm not willing to put any worth into fate (just as I'm not in any other situation) - I would rather just find out for myself or I definitely will constantly regret it.
12/18/07
k: you gotta be top notch and totally on your game to meet the standards of christopher r. clark.
True story. I don't expect any less.
Current Soundtrack:
Shipwreck A.D - Abyss (hardest album of 2007)
Hanson - Snowed In
Mental - Live WERS
The Wrong Side - The Wrong Side of The Grave
Death Before Dishonor - Count Me In (2nd hardest album of 2007)
True story. I don't expect any less.
Current Soundtrack:
Shipwreck A.D - Abyss (hardest album of 2007)
Hanson - Snowed In
Mental - Live WERS
The Wrong Side - The Wrong Side of The Grave
Death Before Dishonor - Count Me In (2nd hardest album of 2007)
12/13/07
k: you have an unbelievable mind, christopher. that paired with your motivation to actually mold and reshape the foundations of society, and to close the innumerable holes within civilization, is going to bring you so many places. you're capable of so much, and i hope you realize this.
k: you've always been capable, but i don't think you were as prepared as you are now.
k: your convictions have always been strong and you've always been aware of them, but now you have the tools/know what to do with them.
<3
k: you've always been capable, but i don't think you were as prepared as you are now.
k: your convictions have always been strong and you've always been aware of them, but now you have the tools/know what to do with them.
<3
12/6/07
12/2/07
'Do you know, Antonia, since I've been away, I think of you more often than of anyone else in this part of the world. I'd have liked to have you for a sweetheart, or a wife, or my mother or my sister--anything that a woman can be to a man. The idea of you is a part of my mind; you influence my likes and dislikes, all my tastes, hundreds of times when I don't realize it. You really are a part of me.'
She turned her bright, believing eyes to me, and the tears came up in them slowly, 'How can it be like that, when you know so many people, and when I've disappointed you so? Ain't it wonderful, Jim, how much people can mean to each other? I'm so glad we had each other when we were little. I can't wait till my little girl's old enough to tell her about all the things we used to do. You'll always remember me when you think about old times, won't you? And I guess everybody thinks about old times, even the happiest people.'
As we walked homeward across the fields, the sun dropped and lay like a great golden globe in the low west. While it hung there, the moon rose in the east, as big as a cart-wheel, pale silver and streaked with rose colour, thin as a bubble or a ghost-moon. For five, perhaps ten minutes, the two luminaries confronted each other across the level land, resting on opposite edges of the world.
In that singular light every little tree and shock of wheat, every sunflower stalk and clump of snow-on-the-mountain, drew itself up high and pointed; the very clods and furrows in the fields seemed to stand up sharply. I felt the old pull of the earth, the solemn magic that comes out of those fields at nightfall. I wished I could be a little boy again, and that my way could end there.
We reached the edge of the field, where our ways parted. I took her hands and held them against my breast, feeling once more how strong and warm and good they were, those brown hands, and remembering how many kind things they had done for me. I held them now a long while, over my heart. About us it was growing darker and darker, and I had to look hard to see her face, which I meant always to carry with me; the closest, realest face, under all the shadows of women's faces, at the very bottom of my memory.
'I'll come back,' I said earnestly, through the soft, intrusive darkness.
'Perhaps you will'--I felt rather than saw her smile. 'But even if you don't, you're here, like my father. So I won't be lonesome.'
As I went back alone over that familiar road, I could almost believe that a boy and girl ran along beside me, as our shadows used to do, laughing and whispering to each other in the grass.
She turned her bright, believing eyes to me, and the tears came up in them slowly, 'How can it be like that, when you know so many people, and when I've disappointed you so? Ain't it wonderful, Jim, how much people can mean to each other? I'm so glad we had each other when we were little. I can't wait till my little girl's old enough to tell her about all the things we used to do. You'll always remember me when you think about old times, won't you? And I guess everybody thinks about old times, even the happiest people.'
As we walked homeward across the fields, the sun dropped and lay like a great golden globe in the low west. While it hung there, the moon rose in the east, as big as a cart-wheel, pale silver and streaked with rose colour, thin as a bubble or a ghost-moon. For five, perhaps ten minutes, the two luminaries confronted each other across the level land, resting on opposite edges of the world.
In that singular light every little tree and shock of wheat, every sunflower stalk and clump of snow-on-the-mountain, drew itself up high and pointed; the very clods and furrows in the fields seemed to stand up sharply. I felt the old pull of the earth, the solemn magic that comes out of those fields at nightfall. I wished I could be a little boy again, and that my way could end there.
We reached the edge of the field, where our ways parted. I took her hands and held them against my breast, feeling once more how strong and warm and good they were, those brown hands, and remembering how many kind things they had done for me. I held them now a long while, over my heart. About us it was growing darker and darker, and I had to look hard to see her face, which I meant always to carry with me; the closest, realest face, under all the shadows of women's faces, at the very bottom of my memory.
'I'll come back,' I said earnestly, through the soft, intrusive darkness.
'Perhaps you will'--I felt rather than saw her smile. 'But even if you don't, you're here, like my father. So I won't be lonesome.'
As I went back alone over that familiar road, I could almost believe that a boy and girl ran along beside me, as our shadows used to do, laughing and whispering to each other in the grass.
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