Nothing new has really been going on. I started classes again for the first time since May 2006 on Wednesday. It's been two days, and already I feel like I took on a little too much. Whatever, though - it will be good for me.

Since I have nothing of value to say, check out this leaked picture from Where The Wild Things Are which will be released on October 3rd, 2008. Directed by Spike Jonez, lots of surprises to come apparently.

As always, click on the picture to make it bigger. Any pictures I post in here, just click on them to get the actual size.

I wish I had long, flowing locks like this dude.

So I got my work done on my back today by T.C. It's coming together extremely well, looks great. We did some more hair on the hannya, re-touched some of the shading around the edges, and overall just did a small overhaul on most of the work that had already existed. If you get the chance and are looking for a great place in Connecticut to get tattooed, I highly recommend checking out Ace of Spades.

Ace of Spades Tattoo - New Britian, CT
T.C Williams

Listless.

Every once in a while, things catch up on you from the shadows of your life and leave you hollow and empty and feeling completely alone. It should be known that after riding high for so long, you're bound to crash. Constantly feeling like you made the wrong decision in every aspect of your life is a truly paralyzing thought.






This is one of those times. Does anybody listen anymore? Where did everyone go? Feeling miserable sucks.

I just don't think it's going to work out this time.

It feels weird to start writing in a medium like this again. I felt it was neccessary to not take part in such a self-fulfilling, seemingly selfish act such as writing in a public blog in order to share your thoughts. But I guess this medium is a good way to just air some things out, and clear my head.

I'm not quite sure where to start. This is going to be the shortest version of the real life story ever. After I came home from my road trip last September, everything drastically changed after being home for a few weeks. I ended up hitting bottom, hard, and pretty much distanced myself from anything and everything. Things got so fucked up and I thought I was the one to blame for it all. And now, so much has happened and changed since then. There have been people walking in and out of my life ever since and it feels really weird, almost translucent (if that even makes sense), to look back on it all now. When things change in such a magnitude they did, it's a really odd feeling to look back and see how things have morphed. Regardless, I picked myself up and got back on my feet. Shortly after, I met and began dating a truly amazing and beautiful girl and that also fell apart before, in my opinion, it even reached it's full potential. So, within a span of one year, two awful incidents happened relationship-wise which totally left me empty handed and heavy hearted. And now I'm here, figuring out my past and dealing with my future and figuring out what fits in where and whether forgiving is okay and if I can really love the same way I once did and if my heart is really all it's cracked up to be anymore.

Since being on my road trip and coming back, I've gotten this undeniable and unquenchable thirst for adventure. I feel like I am solely going to forever be on the search for happiness and endless adventure and will most likely come up empty handed. As someone close to me put it, it might be that I am just setting myself up for disappointment no matter where I am. Time tells all, apparently.

I swore up and down for so long that going back to California was going to be the solution, and after close examination of everything as well as my wallet, I realized this was presently unfeasible and quite possibly just an unrealistic dream of mine. My girlfriend at the time was supposed to come out with me and then return but communication was wrong or something got mixed up and those plans were foiled. I put off school for an entire year and worked an awful dumbing job for a handful of months while everything still fell apart at times and came back together at times and then fell apart again. And again, here I am.

I recently moved out of my parent's house and have moved to Manchester with three friends. I'm going back to community college for one more year and will figure things out afterwards. Maybe another year off for traveling purposes, maybe California finally, maybe somewhere else. After everything, one lesson I can lend to everyone is that planning things out only leads to let downs and a total diminishing feeling of hope and expectations.

I'm figuring things out. That's where I stand. And I still stand firmly - 'with or without you'. I hope to update this regularly, so if you can deal with my ramblings and sometimes self-absorbed bullshit, come back and check it out.

"Our bodies are prisons for our souls. Our skin and blood, the iron bars of confinement. But fear not. All flesh decays. Death turns all to ash. And thus, death frees every soul."